Dating after abusive relationships
A colleague of mine has noticed that there is often an imbalance between narcissists and the people they date.Superficially, narcissists are exceptional people dating partners who appear much more ordinary.
Ambition, motivation, even arrogance and desire for power, are good attributes when balanced with humility and not used at the expense of others. Needing to feel powerful by putting others down is unhealthy.Says Rachel, “My ex-boyfriend was a narcissist, and I stayed with him much longer than I should have.The reason was that he gave me intermittent reinforcement.Such an imbalance in personality, looks, and attributes, where one is extroverted and the other introverted, sets alarm bells ringing.At bottom, the extroverted, superficially exceptional ones are that way only in their own mind.If you weren’t blinded by the attention and weren’t questioning your own self-worth, you would realize a lot sooner that your date is interested in you only because you appear weak and less worthy.
Of course, if you had known this in advance, you would not have entered the relationship.
Have you ever felt distraught or found it hard to move on after dating someone who was self-centered?
If so, your partner might have been a narcissist, or a person with narcissistic tendencies.
People with healthy self-confidence who make the mistake of entering a relationship with a narcissist quickly become aware of the emotional abuse and cut the relationship short.
They recognize that there is something out of balance and that it’s easier to move on. Instead, knowing they are unhappy, they focus on themselves and deal confidently and quickly with a relationship that has no value.
If you experience any of these feelings, you should get out of the relationship. There is lots of information available to help you figure out if you are dating a narcissist.