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It goes without saying, he never mentioned her to me.

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Of course this was also “innocent” despite the fact that he had written her at least one letter, they had gone for walks together and he had offered to pick her up from work.Obviously when I confronted him, he denied everything saying he was only looking, he never touched anyone, etc. After telling him I had proof he showed me the email accounts and I found several emails to escort services requesting to set up dates.He said it was titillating to set up the dates but always cancelled them.I had become suspicious of him years ago when he received an overly friendly text from a co worker when his phone went off while he was in the shower.He played it off as nothing – they’d had lunch a few times, gone out w others for drinks (outings to which I was never invited, about which I was never told). After we were married and when I was pregnant w our first child, I looked on one of his social sites and found another overly familiar message sent to an old female friend in which he talked about how great it was to chat w her until 3am the night before. When I confronted him, he again said it was innocent and didn’t seem to understand why I was upset but agreed to stop messaging people on this site.It seemed like an excessive number of discs to me, but I let it go, comforted by the fact that he would agree to throw them away so readily. I had become suspicious for various reasons and looked at the cookies and cache on his computer (he always erased his browser history and would turn the computer away from me if I was nearby).

I found dozens of porn sites, but more disturbing were the ten-twenty escort sites, match dot com profile, and email accounts under an alias I didn’t know he had.

Dear Jo Ann, I would like to preface this by saying that I have yet to determine whether my husband is a sex addict with a compulsion to consume porn, surf escort sites, and sleep with prostitutes OR an entitled, narcissistic bastard who believes these behaviors are acceptable and deserved (by him) and is just apologizing and trying to make amends simply because he was caught. I have always felt a distance from my husband – a certain disconnection on his part that was exacerbated by his minimal ability to empathize w others and his obsession w himself.

For example, he is the kind of man who will steer the conversation to himself, will talk at length about himself (almost like a monologue w little room for others input or a give and take), but will rarely, if ever, ask any questions of anyone else in the room.

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The only time he seems to have a genuine emotion is when he is expressing feelings associated with HIS loss. I am terrified of raising my children alone, of starting over, of how a divorce could negatively affect my kids.