Dating and ladylike
So if you can't be certain whether the woman's enjoying herself or just submitting to peer pressure, and the act itself can be unpleasant, what's the motivation for demanding it?For Todd, so his friend says, it was about maintaining emotional distance.
"For most of my friends, it's sort of a domination thing," says John (not his real name), 30, a writer in New York.Those letters are now dwarfed by letters from women asking how to take it up the butt." Okay.But pronouncements and statistics that indicate the rising popularity of rearguard action don't address some nagging questions—the biggest one being how, presuming they haven't had their own rectums messed with, can so many guys justify asking women to let them take the service elevator?"I had a girlfriend who I was with for a long time and she wasn't into it," Albert says."There was definitely a thing in the back of my head like, ' I can't marry her.' How can I, knowing I can't go to all the places I can go with her?With all due respect to Salt-N-Pepa, let's talk about Todd. He's a rare breed—a finance guy who lives in L. He's been dating the same ladylike woman for three years.
They are the picture of late-twentysomething, Amstel Light—drinking America.
Thirty-five percent of female respondents claimed to enjoy anal sex.
"It's a myth that every straight man wants it and the women who give it up do just that," says Tristan Taormino, author of Dawn (her middle name), a 34-year-old married woman who lives in Ohio, first tried anal sex at her husband's suggestion, only to discover that she was much more into it than he was. She'd like to have it more often, but it's currently off the table.
Eventually, Todd did the deed with Miss Ladylike in the usual way, and continues to, but they still have a whole lot of anal sex. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimated that in 2002, 38 percent of men ages 18 to 59 had entered a woman's back door.
Thirty-five percent of women ages 25 to 44 had invited men in.
Phillip, an engineer in Chicago, says he and his friends request a ride in the back seat because it's a harder-to-reach goal than old-fashioned intercourse.