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Dating a single dad with sole custody

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But would I call myself something else if I were not so very independent in my parenting?

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And FYI, when you refer to yourself as a single mom you piss off a whole lot of people–people who have little or no financial help to raise their kids, or partnership that provides the emotional and logistical support that all families need. “They have no right to say that — I pay for her manicures and weekends in Cancun with her 26-year-old personal trainer boyfriend! Which leads us to examine what “single mother” really means. Depending on how you vote, a single mom is responsible for bearing fatherless criminals and living off of the taxpayer’s dime; or she is a saintly martyr for her children and a victim of a chauvinistic society that tells men it is OK to abandon their children by a male-dominated court system that let him way, way off the hook.What about the married mom whose husband has a lil somethin’ on the side, lends zero help with the kids and blows the mortgage payment on electronics and poker games?Today, I feel totally fine calling myself a single mom: I float my family financially and am the primary caretaker of my kids.And I don’t care about the mother’s who feel that being primary during marriage entitles them to remain primary through divorce. So if continually jumping from house to house is the price of spending time with them equally; it will be paid. Mom and dad present in their life and a stable ‘home base’? Equal parenting doesn’t have to depend on equal physical custody. Just because my views are idealistic doesn’t make them wrong.Without nearly a thought and even dressed up with assurances that they’re okay. Reply You make a very compelling argument, and it’s unfortunate that so many folks on the other site had such a strong reaction to it. I think I did misunderstand a little bit, but I completely get what you are saying here: “I do believe very strongly in shared physical custody. I think that time spent privately with each parent is essential.First, let’s get out of the way all the broads who are single moms.

Ladies, if your husband is away on a hunting trip for a weekend, you are not a single mom.

She relayed a bit of her own personal experience as a divorced mom. I simply questioned the need for a 50/50 split and stated that although I had extenuating circumstances that made my paternal visitation less than most, I was glad not to have had to endure that. And in a polarizing argument, wording of course is everything. It seemed the father’s were mostly angry that the courts tend to automatically choose the mother as the primary custodian, when they were just as capable. If they want to be primary caretakers, they have an equal opportunity for that. Chances are, they’d find me supporting them all the way. Not to mention the continual upheaval; the back and forth. Well, at least the moderator was nice enough to pull down the few comments that had name calling in them. You may agree with me completely or want to wring my neck. You do not want to discuss support as part of this. There are so many custodial mothers who treat their ex husbands terribly. Do you think if a father does not pay support would he be welcome to visit his children, or if he bought a nice new expensive car and did not up his support payment, would the mother be happy to see him. Lots of fathers who inexcusably walk away from their children; separating themselves without regard for the resulting impact.

She stated that her ex husband chose not to have a role in her children’s life and that it of course was damaging to them. It means three nights at mom’s house this week and four nights the next. I don’t really care which parent the child resides with. I also brought up how difficult it would be for kids to answer one of the basic questions of kid-dom. ” The question that answers whether they reside in close enough proximity to be playmates. Because the response to that second comment was certainly passionate. And the biggest problem here is that you can’t ask them. It would require whoever is ‘secondary’ to make more phone calls, attend things their child is attending, have them over for evenings and (oh no, not the dreaded! Because mom and dad were mature enough to get married. After which they were mature enough to get divorced. Her children are the only way to get back at the other parent. And lots of mothers who use their children as pawns; treating their children like rewards instead of human beings.

It’s also fun and delightfully ambiguous, which suits me just fine at the moment. ” asks that judgey, annoying mom with the yoga pants and giant diamond at the school, eying you up and down.

I started a bit of a kerfuffle on another site the other day and I decided to write an opinion piece to reflect it. Reply After reading some of the posts on the other site, it seems to me that the fathers feel like if they don’t have the full or atleast 50/50 custody it means they do not love their children as much. Just because the child doesn’t live with you it does not mean they love you less.

As we figure out where women and mothers fit into the worlds of work, money and politics, we need language to help us along the way.